A friend of mine sent me an e-mail yesterday entitled “1000 Marbles”. The long and the short of it is that in the e-mail was a story of a man who at one point in his life figured out how many Saturdays were left in his (average-lifetime-expectancy-)life. He figured about a 1000. So… he bought a thousand marbles and each Saturday of his life after that moment, he threw one of the marbles away. This was to remind him, every Saturday, to do something that mattered.

In the story in the e-mail, the now-75-year-old man had just thrown out his last marble and was about to take his wife out to breakfast. And he went figuring that every Saturday after that one, would be an extra “gift”.

So… I “get” the point of this story and/but I am reminded of another story in a film (and a book I think, “The Thornbirds” maybe) where one little girl was told that she would take a finite number of steps in her life. Now this is indisputable. Each of us does indeed have some finite number of steps that we will take in our lives… but… this thought, this realization, this consciousness caused the girl in the story such panic that she began making sure that every step she took was deliberate. And then she began taking bigger, longer steps in order to not use up too many. The story went on and ended sadly and I remember — I was in my teens at the time — that I understood her. Being aware is a good thing. Being overly-conscious is not.

A few years post the little-girl-with-finite-steps-Thornbirds-I-think story, I came across a similar one written by Isaac Asimov. In that book a couple found that when they were in a particular place, together in a particular way, time stopped. They too ended up absolutely paralyzed. And I remember thinking “What a waste.” Although they had indeed “tricked” time into stopping, so had their living.

So… the cost of living is the spending of time. No way around that. And spending wisely is what the “1000 Marbles” story was to be a reminder of. I suppose. I write “I suppose” because even though the story in the e-mail meant to remind us to “live well now”, I can’t imagine not being terrified in front of a jar of diminishing-in-number marbles. Even though our steps are indeed finite, our time is not indefinite and our Saturdays ought to be well used, I prefer to not countdown forward. And to that end, I am brought to book postings. Yes, you read that right… book postings :o)

Looking over the books that I have read these past not-quite-three years, I am in awe, once again, of what we as human beings ponder and express and pass along to each other so that another of us can ponder in turn. Truly. In awe. And I am again struck by how impossible it is to imagine my life without the riches of these books.

I guess by all of that I’m implying that I feel as though I have, these past few days, had the chance to see some of the gems I have gathered in exchange for my “marbles”, to see part of the path my spent-steps have made. And it is this view, this perspective that is absolutely “just right” for me. Maybe for some counting-down-forwards is the way to go, the way to be aware, the way to make sure they stay “in” their life. Guess it’s just not meant for me.

I decided while at university that I would, everyday, read for “simply” my own pleasure. I let myself make this gift to myself then. And, ever since, I have and do read everyday for “simply” my own pleasure. This seemingly small decision has turned out to be one of the top life changing and filling decisions that I have ever (and yet :o) made. I hope that some of the reflections of this, found in these various postings, sparks a count-upwards-forward for you. Ultimately, once we’re reminded that we should do something that is meaningful to us, we still have to find (and live and choose) that meaning…