To start, I will write that if you are reading these pages, I’m pretty sure that you “get” ethics :o) I guess I write that to say that this page is to share some of mine in order to perhaps keep the “conversation” going. And, I write that given that chosen ethics are different from learned, legally imposed or professionally integrated “ethics” and I find that we don’t speak of them very often.

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I try to not to see, feel, perceive or know about someone else unless they give me permission. I find this incredibly difficult at times given that I continue to try to be a “present” sort. This means that I am present in what I receive and in how I respond. It is the “receiving” part that I address here.

Notably, the line between “receiving” and actively “butting in and poking around” is pretty clear but the line between “receiving” what the person wittingly and unwittingly sends out isn’t. We have grown accustomed to acknowledging words, body language and physical appearance in our “communications”. “Energy” is another leap. So… I do work hard to see (acknowledge) only what the person wittingly communicates with/to me. The “rest” I let fall away.

And, it does happen that, sometimes, the person is consciously trying to communicate this “other stuff” and doesn’t quite know how or what. When this happens I do sometimes ask “Would you like to know what I see?” If the answer is positive, I then take a moment to re-gather the fallen away stuff into my consciousness.

(I use the same — very active “do not see” — approach when entering, present in and/or leaving a crowd or gathered group. I do think here it is actually though more of a “self-defense” thing. Sometimes there really is “way too much” information :o)

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I will “help” only when help is asked for. This point is different from the first one in that it is about “responding” and not receiving. Sometimes, for instance, Reiki energy will begin to flow spontaneously. When this happens I don’t stop the flow but I do send it out with thoughts of “This is available if and when it is wanted.” And, to reiterate part of my first point, when I sense that someone is looking for something that I might “help” with, I (sometimes) will offer it. When I do this I don’t want/expect/wait for a response. (It is an offer and not a question.) Respecting “not asking” is as important as respecting “being asked”.

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I will “help” only if my way of helping is understood. I am, at least and at most, “me”. I am not doctor or a psychologist or anyone other than “me”. I will gladly (usually :o) contribute my part (and I will bring to this my training and experience and best intentions) but I can’t contribute anyone else’s “part”. And, this part, my part, this point can be tricky given the “want” factor on all sides. I want to help. The person wants help. Are “we” enough? For me the answer lies in the definition of “our” intent.

To define this, it becomes very important for me to describe how I approach “energy” as well as whichever process or technique or method “we” are considering embarking on together. Usually I will position myself as what? Someone who has access to tools and methods and techniques that might be of use “to them” and their own care of themselves. Yes. That. If this positioning isn’t “suitable”, then that is already part of the person’s answer. If it is, then, well… off “we” go. I am and remain, at least and at most, “me”.

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I will “help” only if I feel I can show up in all honesty and with the best intentions. This is sometimes very hard (and internally conflicting) and/but I too am human. Judgment, likes and dislikes, opinions, affinities and “understanding” do come into play. When I find I question my ability to get “myself” out of the way, I first try to reconnect to Source. If I can’t manage it, I will admit to it and “we” can take it from there.

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Once “helping” has started, it has to be delivered. This is a hard point to articulate but it is one I believe in very strongly. Maybe another way to write this would be, “help” is only “good” so… ensuring that this remains true is important.

“We” are a moment where, at least, two humans come together in a shared intent. After this moment, “we” no longer exists but the two composant parts, the two human beings, continue on. So… if our “we” moment includes “my” help, I will do my best to deliver this. And sometimes this delivery is tough. Sometimes it’s the content (always good but sometimes requiring courage) but most often it has to do with finding a meaningful method of delivery.

Things that might be clear to one of us aren’t always clear to the other. The way we (as individuals) speak, the way we (as individuals) think, our (individual) experience, our (individual) way of being, our (individual) feelings, our (indivudal) states, our (individual) wants, our (individual) understanding… our “individual” affects “our” clarity. But, always, if there is something that is trying to be delivered, the delivery has to be “good” meaning “helpful”. Stopping before this is true is, obviously, “not helpful” (and, yes, that was my point :o)

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I always try to recognize Source and source. This isn’t always obvious but it is likely the easiest of this collection of points for me for the “good” stuff. For this, I do this given that I feel hanging onto stuff that isn’t ours and making it ours, stops the flow of it. The place though where this point gets tricky for me is with the “not good” stuff. Passing on the “yucky” stuff is not cool but assuming it isn’t good either. And recognizing the source of this isn’t always obvious. So… actively trying to recognize Source and source is important and hard as (apparently :o) all of my ethics are for me.

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I am a “me” too. This is different from the points above in that this one has to do with my own “stuff”, my own help of/for me. Where will I and where won’t I apply these methods, techniques, practises for my own purposes?

Again, I will not know about another without permission. I do though allow myself to explore “our” relationship. I will not “take”. I do though allow myself to “bask” in someone’s energy and I will decide when/if I let myself “receive” from someone else. I will not “give” to anyone else for my own “end”. I do though allow myself to send out “good to be received as wanted” for those I care about and I do allow myself to send out “good, let the energies be good and in line with our higher purpose” into group situations that I am part of. I always let myself define (shift, strengthen and/or make more permeable) my own boundaries.

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I guess most of the points have to do with respecting the distinction between what is “mine”, what is “ours”, what belongs to “other”. And it’s all about being here, between earth and sky. And although very important, and even with our best efforts to be and remain “aware”, these distinctions aren’t and this “being” isn’t always obvious (particularly given the strong pull towards “we are not two” :o) I do believe that considering, exploring and naming “intent” is key and that the whole of it is part of the mystery and the magic of our human experience :o)

An aside… I definitely see how the points I have articulated here relate to the principles of Reiki (one version is: “Just for today, do not worry. Just for today, do not anger. Honour your parents, teachers and elders. Earn your living honestly. Show gratitude to every living thing.”) but principles are different from ethics and, undoubtedly, I was drawn to Reiki in the first place because of its articulation and respect of my own ethics.

So, with all of that written, I will add that hopefully this conversation will continue. I look forward to articulating this “more”.

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